


maybe there is something like fate

by trouserhouser



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda Fluffy, M/M, Success
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24146800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trouserhouser/pseuds/trouserhouser
Summary: Daniel wasn’t ready at all. He wasn’t ready to let these doctors and nurses have the power of Max’s life, one wrong cut, one wrong move and it would be the end - not only for his boyfriend, but for him too.Max would leave a big gaping wound in his heart.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Kudos: 44





	maybe there is something like fate

**Author's Note:**

> I find it's time for some hurt/comfort after the Vettel announcement.  
> My heart is aching, I swear.

He couldn’t leave yet. 

He wasn’t allowed to leave yet. 

He wasn’t allowed to leave him alone. 

The infusion bag hung bleakly and supplied him with the vital medication. In the last few hours, he himself asked if it was still necessary. It would extend the misery, but the doctor wanted to wait a bit longer. 

“Are you ready to go?”, he asked, with a brittle voice. His mouth felt like a desert. 

“If this is the last time I can perceive you, then please don’t let me see a single tear in your face.”

“You know, I can’t.” He sobbed, his eyes not even watery. He had cried far too much, so he had nothing to fear. What made him sobbing was not the fact that it was time soon, but that Max was still the stronger of the two, even though he was in shades and not him. 

How deep was this pride anchored? Daniel had no answer and he was tired of being in the dark. 

“If that was it all, I will complain.” Max’s comment was supposed to make Daniel smile, but he wasn’t after it. The time to apply dark humour was gone. Strictly speaking 10 minutes ago, when they discovered a brain haemorrhage. Max’s left hand was numb and at home he had already vomited three times. 

The more time passed, the more likely Max’s consciousness disorder could get worse. Daniel was aware that Max could fall into a coma at any moment. Why do NMR results have to take so long? The situation did not get any better when the doctor said that the lethality rate was 30-50%. As if he would stop worrying about him. 

Daniel reached for Max’s hand, the one that was not numb, and squeezed it cautiously. He intended to kiss it, but he changed his mind, as Max grumbled uncomfortable. He aimed for Daniels cheek but missed it. The latter’s heart rate began speeding up. He couldn’t just leave him now and fall into coma. He wouldn’t want pain eating Max’s face be his last memory of him. Daniel grabbed his hand tighter and reached for the glass of water, that stood untouched on the small table next to him. In this moment, somebody opened the door. He could smell the disinfectant and knew who it was - the chief doctor. 

“He is fainting ag-”

“We will operate now. If I could beg you to leave now. You can go to the cafeteria and grab a coffee, if you would like to.” 

Daniel swallowed loudly. Chilling on a chair and burning his tongue on a hot drink, would be the last he wanted to do right now. He looked at Max, who had already closed his beautiful blue gleaming eyes. He didn’t even get a glimpse of the last sparkle in his boyfriend’s eyes, before this surgery, that might change everything and was deciding about life or death. 

Death. The fact that this word is pronounced at the beginning and the rest is just blowing air through your teeth, says all about its meaning. Life is colourful in the beginning. It’s a full roller coaster, full of experience and progress, but the end is just fading away and leaving a bitter taste behind. Daniel wasn’t ready at all. He wasn’t ready to let these doctors and nurses have the power of Max’s life, one wrong cut, one wrong move and it would be the end - not only for his boyfriend, but for him too. Max would leave a big gaping wound in his heart. 

And so he had to let his still warm hand go, Max’s fingers slipping away from him without any hesitation, because of course he couldn’t have a say with his condition. 

Daniel thought about waiting until they had carried Max out, but the chief doctor wanted him to leave now. With every step away from his suffering boyfriend, Daniels soul hurt more. 

**One year later**

“Daniel, I need your help! Hurry!” A sentence that repeated itself at least eight times a day, but he didn’t complain. He was supporting Max where he could, where his fingers didn’t show any kind of use. Daniel stormed into the kitchen. Max sat on one of the kitchen chairs, a piece of paper in front of him, but the pen seemed to had slipped away. It lay lonely on the floor. Daniel picked it up and gave it into Max’s hand. He closed his fingers awkwardly around the object and tried to figure out, how to hold it properly. For some reason he not only lost his fine motor skills in his right hand, which felt numb back then, but also in the healthy left hand. 

Max made progress. He put so much effort into practicing various movements with his hand, but writing was something, he still couldn’t do. The dream was to be able to drive a F1 car again. He worked out everyday to not lose any necessary muscles, but his damn fingers just didn’t want to behave his way. With no fine motor skills, he wouldn’t be able to shift any gears or press the right buttons on his steering wheel. It was heartbreaking to see Max frustrated all the time, because he wasn’t patient enough to give his body time to rehabilitate. Max put the pen on the paper again and tried not to lose the grip. He tried and tried but everytime he wanted to draw the first letter, his hand failed. After the fourth try he smashed the pen in the next corner. 

“I hate myself! All just because of this fucking accident! SHIT!” Daniel flinched, then sat down next to him. He didn’t dare to lay a hand on Max’s back, because now was not the time to pity him. He sighed, then stood up again and grabbed the pen from the ground to put it back into Max’s hand. 

“Try. Again.” If looks could kill, Max would have been a serial killer now, killing Daniel three or four times. Daniel didn’t pull back. He had the patience, that Max needed in this kind of situations and he would be there to help him and build up his confidence again. 

“Do you wanna beat me on track again or not? There is no F1 car with automatic transmission.” Max rolled his eyes, but then he started to focus on his fingers again, staring at them as if he could control them with his thoughts. Meanwhile, Daniel grabbed another pen out of the pencil case and tried to figure out how Max’s hand would feel. He pondered how to teach somebody to hold a pen again, to have enough pressure and grip but on the same side not the ability of destroying the paper.   
  


Daniel stood up to turn the lights on. They were sitting in the kitchen for two hours now, the sun had set ten minutes ago. Max’s progress were ups and downs. He finished his last letter and looked at the piece of paper in front of him. His name was there in craggy writing but he mastered it. He did it. Towards the end, the letters were easier to write than at the beginning. It would take time, but Max was succeeding in tiny steps and Daniel was happy for him. 

“We will do the same tomorrow and then you are writing my name, okay?” 

“Two letters more? I mean okay, if you’re comfortable with sitting here two and a half hours!”

“Don’t exaggerate. I’ll be there and tomorrow you’ll need less time, I promise.” The smile Max had left for Daniel was worth sitting here two hours and watching his boyfriend having several mental breakdowns at once. Daniel was proud of Max. If they continued to practice together, Max would be ready to shift gears in a few months, to go back to racing and closer to his dream to become a world champion. 

Daniel was sure, one day he’ll make it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I love reading all your comments and I'll answer them all :)


End file.
